I have a question that eventually leads to a few doubts about some emotional states of apparent “balance”. Can you understand the difference between being driven by your (or other’s) emotion, instead of rationalizing it?
It is my belief that by rationalizing our emotions, we go on the opposite way of seeking conscious pleasure and self-knowledge. I also believe that our mind’s purpose should be solving the inner conflicts seeking a life elaboration, instead of rationally interpret these with the intent of diminish or denying them. That would be the same as denying aspects of our existence that for some particular reason are trying to have some sort of expression and personal meaning. We can deny it by emotionally telling ourselves stories that might be working as a self-defence mechanism towards fear. However, this kind of attitude leads us to be apart of ourselves, engendering a feeling of life mitigation. And in the place inside us, where life deadens, we freeze with no reasons to exist, always being the most damaged ones.
As we stop existing in those places, we no longer see things in a global way. In other words, the mental level hardly brings a universe of meanings such as the warm experience of life that can provide all its colour nuances. It is only when we get in touch, profoundly and lucidly - with what we feel - that we truly implicate ourselves in our existence, in life/experiences, in warmth. It is here, when we allow ourselves to consciously experience emotions and feelings, that we can have concrete references about who we are or what we are to ourselves.
Taking conscious actions can promote a universe of personal meanings that gives back a full and harmonious feeling of existing along with more self-appropriation that strengthens in pain such as in pleasure.
- To feel is to live.
Being in suspense, just rationalizing, can lead us to experiment a feeling of superiority towards human kind that frequently is controlled by non-thought emotions (it’s a fact!), as a consequence of this perceptive lens of reality. Sometimes things are understood as being tedious and living becomes pure nonsense. This perceptive lens can end up developing indifference since it is a way of living that in fact does not happen in its plenitude. Rationalizing feelings does not mean we have self-understanding; it can only mean we are people afraid to live, disguised as prudent.
It might happen we are afraid of knowing ourselves in certain situations we find hard to handle with. At that point, “we don’t get in touch”, life goes by and we get stuck to the story we tell ourselves: what happens inside us shouldn’t nor does it deserve to be taken in consideration (who in fact aren’t we considering?). We deny it, afraid of facing some situations that are bothering us anyway. Either for pleasure or pain, there’s fear of the possible action originated by this kind of self-knowledge.
Practicing sports is very nice, as well as seeking knowledge and doing meditation or whatever gives us pleasure. But even by acquiring such healthy posture that necessarily doesn’t mean we are having a fulfilling life.
Being in touch with our emotions and knowing how to handle them, without running away from them; interpreting emotions in a rational way and most importantly, without trying to deny them, for sure that will put us in a place/life of self-knowledge and differentiated pleasure.
Silvia Malamud é colaboradora do Site desde 2000. Psicóloga Clínica, Terapias Breves, Terapeuta Certificada em EMDR pelo EMDR Institute/EUA e Terapeuta em Brainspotting - David Grand PhD/EUA.
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