“Time heals everything”, “Only time will make you feel better” etc, these are the ‘advices’ we are unable to accept when we have a broken heart, because we don’t want to hear we must wait for the time go on. Anyway it is true that time is really a perfect remedy in case of a broken heart!
A day can last an eternity for those who are waiting, for those who are suffering, for those who feel pain. And can last a second for those who are starting to feel deep inside the most superior state of happiness. Nevertheless, time is always the same. It seems that these differences are set according to our internal availability to feel we are in harmony with it.
When we feel like we are in pieces because of the end of a relationship, we have the feeling that time has stopped, and nothing else exists beside the sensation that we have lost the ground under our feet, as we have lost our inner guidance, feeling completely empty and hopeless.
Time goes on, even if we do not notice or feel it. One more day comes and another day goes by and another day takes its place, then the next one comes, and then the next... The mornings seem always gray even with the sun shining… and nights seem always dark, besides the bright moonlight… life seems meaningless, but still offers us the opportunity to review and discover where we have done wrong.
Despite everything, it is possible to reborn, to resurrect from this devastating feeling and finally begin from the starting point again. There, we can perceive that the relations ends, but not our heart, no matter how hard may be the sensation that floods our soul at the moment where we confront a broken love promise. We can discover that the other person leaves, but never takes away our capacity to love. And then we can understand the power of time.
Who already felt this sensation that absolutely nothing, even the time is capable to set peace to despair - and many already went through it - can understand better what I am writing. Therefore, if someone does not feel the reconstruction force that time gives us, that’s Ok... do not believe! Just let go and you will see!
Live a day at a time and you will end up discovering that love starts and comes to an end in this very moment. The rest is just memories or fantasy… flashes of what we lived and projections of what we would like to live… but it is only at this moment that love can show up and it is exactly for that reason that dealing with the pain is so hard. Because doesn’t matter where do you go, or what do you may do or at which rhythm every second flows, life continues shouting inside you, leaving the sensation that no more space is left to love.
This is our largest fear: not loving again, not being able to share, to live another relationship so good, so satisfactory, so desired. However, that is self-torture. Do not think about this; don’t hurt yourself with a fancy fantasy of despair. Always remember that love is a choice, your choice... if it is going to happen again in a relationship or not, is only one of the infinite possibilities of living it again. Let time go by, so to dissipate in a following moment the pain, in order to leave room for a new love!
Rosana Braga é Especialista em Relacionamento e Autoestima, Autora de 9 livros sobre o tema. Psicóloga e Coach. Busca através de seus artigos, ajudar pessoas a se sentirem verdadeiramente mais seguras e atraentes, além de mostrar que é possível viver relacionamentos maduros, saudáveis e prazerosos.
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