Forgiving is one of the most difficult attitudes for nearly all human beings.
Usually when someone offends, betrays, disappoints or hurts us, we tend to spend a lot of time worried about these feelings and continuously reviving that moment.
That happens for two main reasons: the first is that we are all the time under the control of the ego and it’s the ego that makes us cultivate feelings like rejection, offended self-respect and low self-esteem which generally brings, as a result, many other negative emotions like angry, feeling of revenge and pride.
The second reason that makes forgiving difficult is a consequence of the first one. In other words, we start to live in the past, remembering all the time the negative attitudes of the other and blaming this person for our problems and unhappiness.
There are situations when forgiving is a big challenge indeed, for the seriousness of the offense and the suffering caused to us is enormous. But, in order to make forgiving easier we should think that human beings are evolutionary spiritual creatures and that, therefore, the person who hurt us did it because he/she was not aware of the deep responsibility of any attitude we have, and also being completely under the control of his/her lower self, the shadowy side existing in each one of us.
Forgiving is a highly healthy and liberating attitude, mainly for us. By doing it, we feel a huge sensation of relief, as if we got freed from a heavy burden. And, at the same time, we break the bounds that keep us tied to the past and those who hurt us. Many people end up healing physical diseases, thanks to this process, since some illnesses are directly related to anger and resentment.
To practice forgiving is also an excellent exercise of humbleness, because by doing it, it is necessary to transcend the ego, that all the time tries to convince us that forgiving is a act of weakness, an attitude of lack of self-respect.
But, incredibly, it’s exactly the contrary.
Forgiving is an act of greatness, coming from the best part of us. It is our internal wisdom, the divine portion that inhabits in each human being, helping us to overcome our resistance to forgiveness. But it’s necessary we connect ourselves to this energy and let it be our guide.
Even being so difficult to forgive someone in person, we can perform a meditation exercise, visualizing the person and keeping an imaginary dialogue with her, expressing in that way our forgiveness.
This exercise will be quite beneficial for us to clean our hearts from the bitterness and, at the same time, free the person in question, since – cultivating bitterness - we keep it energetically tied to us by the force of our thoughts.
When we realize this process for the first time, it is natural not to feel a complete sensation of relief or liberation, depending on how important the person is to us. In the beginning it can be necessary to pour out our bitterness and our anger by crying or even by fiercely punching the pillow or the couch.
The important thing is to free the blocked negative emotions, let them go and forget definitely. Another essential point is not to force anything before actually accepting it deeply in your heart. We can repeat the process periodically until the definitive solution of the problem and the complete transmutation of the resentment and anger into peace and happiness. por Elisabeth Cavalcante