About love, relationships, abandonment and, especially, betrayal - themes which I have been writing about these last weeks – is only one: keep asking! But do not ask me... ask yourself!
I don’t have the answers. Nobody does, because for each question you have, you already have the answer inside yourself and your reflections aim, above all, at the self-knowledge. In other words, every time you have a question, try to find the answer in your heart, because it is there and nowhere else!
Each person is unique and deserves a unique answer. So, if I give an answer, in this text or in any other, I will be ignoring your singularity, your absolute exclusivity of being who you are, a human being full of solutions, wisdom and capacity to exceed yourself.
I have been receiving lots of messages from my readers questioning me about what to do when betrayed: should they keep or finish the relationship? Should they forgive or punish? They talk about their pains and it touches me. But I am here today to tell you that I, myself, am searching, and looking for evolution and reflecting just like you are doing...
What makes write about love is the fact I have been studying, searching and specializing for the last 5 years and since I was born, in my human condition of learner. All I have are experiences, including experiences of pain and happiness, success and disappointments, mistakes and guesses, just like you!
And I believe I couldn’t have done better if I hadn’t personally experienced some anguish and tasted love with all its possibilities. Moreover, I couldn’t have touched your soul hadn’t mine be so eager to share, live, find answers...!
So, my goal now is to provoke you to question yourself, and have your heart think, without believing in inflexible answers. We are living beings in constant change, and we aim at evolution.
So, our yesterday’s answers may not answer our questions any longer. We need to recycle ourselves, to look for new exits, new ways of loving. Finally, that’s what relations are for: to teach us to deal with our difficulties, our fears, our defenses. To teach us to live with each other and with the part of ourselves that we project in the others. Our experiences are projections of ourselves, but unfortunately, we insist on not wanting to see that, not wanting to admit it, only because it is easier to believe that someone else is responsible for our mistakes and failures.
And now I have opened my heart to you, I am at your disposal not as if I had all answers, because I really don’t; but to indicate a way to walk in your own path, which I feel I am enabled to do.
I wish we could, together, find healthier and more positive ways to understand what happens in our relationships, mainly in situations of disagreement, betrayal, unhappiness and when sensations of loneliness tear us inside ourselves and make us feel helpless for anything.... I wish we could, mainly, learn together a nice and less painful way of loving.
Finally, I wish each of our own answers were part of everyone else's answers and could help the others find their own! Instead of accusing each other and clinging to misfortunes, I invite you to look for a path to overcome your own pain.
Rosana Braga é Especialista em Relacionamento e Autoestima, Autora de 9 livros sobre o tema. Psicóloga e Coach. Busca através de seus artigos, ajudar pessoas a se sentirem verdadeiramente mais seguras e atraentes, além de mostrar que é possível viver relacionamentos maduros, saudáveis e prazerosos.
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