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If this relationship doesn´t make you feel good...

Translated by Leandro Guerra Martins - [email protected]
Final revision by Françoise Killick - [email protected]

Start it all over again. Sometimes, we insist on a relationship or on a form of relationship that makes us suffer more than it brings joy and peace that are a characteristic of love. We know that it is not what we want but, for some reason - that perhaps we can identify if we dive into a deep reflection - we don’t let it go.

Days, months and even years go by and we continue to feel heavy, stressed, unsatisfied, with a clear sensation that we are wasting energy with something that is not worth any more or that, perhaps, never was. However, we do nothing to stop and change.

It could be a love that isn’t or has never been corresponded; it could be a failed or forbidden relationship (when the other is engaged to someone else or is definitely not in the mood for a commitment); it could be a disharmonic meeting, where the life goals are completely different and you are convinced that you shouldn’t reveal your choice.
In a word, there are lots of reasons for a relationship to oppress and diminish us, and waste our best energies making us lose creative and productive opportunities.

Many people get harmed at work, in their family environment, with friends, in their social, emotional and spiritual life, but they don’t make any change by fear, insecurity, lack of self-confidence or self-esteem.
And do you know what is worse? Usually, such people fool themselves day after day, trying to persuade themselves that something will happen, suddenly, to take them out of prison and the vicious circle their lives have turned into.
And they don’t realize that 2, 8, 15, 20 years have gone by...
Don’t wait any longer. Stop postponing your happiness. Changes demand a lot, but definitely, they are worth the effort when the result is getting out of a tasteless, boring and ordinary life.

I know: it’s hard to take the first step. It is hard to know where to begin. I suggest that you decide, genuinely, before you do anything. Decide by yourself, inside your heart. Say to yourself: “I will change my life“ and know, in advance, that changes require new attitudes!
If you think that you are doing everything wrong, stop, meditate and write down in your notebook what you think is right for you. Find a new path. Create a new strategy. Risk the unknown if you feel it can be better. Discover a new story inside your destiny. Starting all over again is the privilege of those who love and respect themselves and who know they deserve being in peace with themselves.

But above all, be tolerant, trust in the power that every single day has; this is the natural flood of existence. Don’t you want to grab everything today, now.
Moreover, don’t waste your potential spending your whole life with your seeds in your hands. Seeds are promises that need to be planted to be fulfilled. And when they are planted, be prepared to harvest – one by one – your possibilities of happiness.

So that’s it: from one attitude to another, you can re-design and re-conquer yourself and begin a new love, a new life or simply reencounter your heart, which is the true source of pleasure. And once your discover you can be a new version of yourself, practice it every time something isn’t well. After all, it's your story!

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Rosana Braga é Especialista em Relacionamento e Autoestima, Autora de 9 livros sobre o tema. Psicóloga e Coach. Busca através de seus artigos, ajudar pessoas a se sentirem verdadeiramente mais seguras e atraentes, além de mostrar que é possível viver relacionamentos maduros, saudáveis e prazerosos.
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